Friends of ours are going through something NO parent should ever have to... children aren’t supposed to die before their parents. Bad things aren’t supposed to happen to Good people (and no I haven’t read the book - I can’t bring myself to. Not 4 1/2 years ago when my uncle passed away WAY too young and not now either. I pick it up to start and I begin to cry...)
Our friend’s son has been sick for half of his wee life. He is 4 years old. four years old. I can’t even begin to imagine... They are saying their goodbyes - how exactly they are supposed to do this I don’t know? but I feel like a failure as a friend - I could have, should have - but didn’t - do more as a friend. I’m busy... I’m tired... I’m out with my other friends and their children that aren’t sick. yes, I suck as a friend. and what is worse - as I sit here crying over the devastation they must be feeling - I am thanking God that my babies are okay. Reid wasn’t for a long time... he’s doing fantastic now - thank you God - but he wasn’t - and I had some friends that sucked too (and some that still do, but that’s another post and a bottle of wine...)
I am grateful for are the ones that were there for us. That are there for me. The ones that I know I can call after months of not talking - because we are all busy - and know they are there for me. Or the ones that I do talk to everyday - and will meet me for my beloved vanilla latte with caramel drizzle because they want one too... I am thanking all of you now.
I cannot put into words what all I am trying to say - what all I want to say - but my heart is aching. I know that an Angel will get his wings - too soon - but he will be beautiful. I know that a family will forever have an empty, aching spot on their heart and a friend that hopes they know how much I care...