Thursday, October 29, 2009

Everyone has a Story....

I've been asked to write a monthly blog for a truly great website: www.wondermoms.ca , founder Tamara is a wonderful person which I am very fortunate to have crossed paths with; and even more flattered that she thought I worthy of including on her site. I'm going to be a 'Wonder Blogger!' .. hmm, I wonder what my uniform will look like?!!!

What is your story? ... Here is mine: juggling being a parent, wife, daughter, sister, friend, business owner and well I'm sure I've left many things out!! This is just the beginning....

The decision to become a parent was an easy one .. Brent and I knew early on in our relationship that we wanted to have children and when we got married in April 2004 we wasted no time (heck, we went to Cabo for our honeymoon, then Greece a month an a half later for work ...pretty hard NOT to feel inspired in such beautiful locales!!) so when we discovered that I had a bun in the oven that June we were elated! We told everyone .. and when I say 'everyone' I really do mean everyone.....even if they didn't care to know, they heard our great news anyways!

As a first time mom-to-be, I am sure you can imagine how erratic my behaviour was. If you are single and want to become a parent, and are male, please read and take notes: yes your partner WILL go back to normal (whatever normal was)..somewhat.. but you need to tread very carefully and know that everything being done is 'for the sake of the baby... YOUR baby!!' heehee .. I bought books, I bought clothes, I bought food ... lots of it - but couldn't eat it sadly.. Then one day I felt different. Couldn't place my finger on it, but I knew that something wasn't right. I read all those books I bought for signs of what was normal .. what wasn't .. and then I went..gasp..online! This will prove to be a source of many sleepless nights as I will, no doubt, continue to read any and everything I can 'online' ...

I was nearing the end of my first trimester when I started to have this feeling, so when I started to bleed I started to freak out. We went to the ER and were able to bypass the waiting room crowd (I was crying pretty hard at this point and the intake nurse took pity on me, being a woman and perhaps a mom herself....) where we waited for 7 hours .. yes 7 hours to be seen by the ER Doctor.... Poor Brent, if you think I am a witch (hey, I've gotta keep this PG!) at times .. you really didn't want to cross my path then. There were no prenatal exam rooms available this night, so I was moved into the supply cupboard room, on an ambulance stretcher - apparently no beds were available either - for my 'exam' ... yes I was bleeding, no there was nothing they could do, please go home and if it gets worse, well come back. Thanks for nothing.....

This part of the story does go on, and unfortunately it doesn't get better.. I had a miscarriage and we lost the baby. To take some words from Ann Douglas and her 'mother of all pregnancy book' I felt like I was kicked out of this special club - only to be granted membership into a new one, one that you really do not want to be part of.

Having gone through this awful experience - and let's face it, it sucks. No amount of pretty words or cliche phrases 'it was meant to be....' made either of us feel better... but we did move forward, heal and grew closer as a couple. Brent is pretty amazing, and I am so grateful that it is him that I am on this journey with; I couldn't imagine it any other way.

After our hearts had time to heal we decided to 'try again' .. and were blessed to discover I was pregnant that December...Abby was born on August 9th, 2005 - and things have not been the same since! She is incredible - and one of the (3) best things that either of us have created...and I'm pretty crafty I'll have all of you know!!!

We thought that we were busy - you know, how everyone that has their first child thinks they are... HA! We decided that Abby should have a brother or sister.. because 'that would be really great.....' So when I was 20.5 weeks pregnant (yes, that is 1/2 way through my pregnancy...) we went for our first ultrasound .... to discover that 'there are two babies in there.....' Yup .. TWO! We were having TWINS.. a boy and a girl.. pretty amazing isn't it?!!.... (or if you are one of the many strangers that felt the need to offer your comment(s): 'oh no, poor you .. well better you then me...' Yes, I do have to agree, better ME then you - clearly...) Brent and I started to laugh... to say we were in shock .. well that was a huge understatement!!! That part of the story is actually pretty funny - but it's long - so I will save that for if you want to ask me all the wonderful details yourself !! We left the ultrasound in a daze.. and now more than 20 months later, I still feel like most of my time is in a daze!

There were some complications with their birth ... it was down right scary if you really want to know... after being on bed rest since just after Christmas I started to hemorrhage and had a placenta abruption which resulted in an emergency C-Section at 36 weeks - I delivered Ashlan weighing 5lbs9oz and Reid weighing 6lbs1oz on February 26, 2008. The following 6 months are a blur, not just because we were adjusting to life with a 2.5 year old and newborn twins, but also because both were in the hospital for 3 weeks - when Ashlan was released - then another 2 for Reid when he was transferred to McMaster Children's Hospital. All in all, there were so many things that were going on - during those first 5 weeks, and then next 5 months afterwards of out-patient treatment .. that first year is a write off... Yeah I am bitter - but I look at him now and I am so grateful that he is healthy, his heart condition is manageable and that for the most part I am just exhausted due to managing life with a 4 year old, 20 month twins and growing my business. Yeah I have to cook and clean sometimes too.....

So my story is far from over - and it's a good one; well we think so anyways! and I can hardly wait to get more of it in print!! Yes I'm busy, and yes I juggle many hats - and yes, I love my Starbucks and Wine and Wabo's .... you will soon have a better understanding as to why!

Everyone has a Story.... thanks for reading part of mine! ...... What is yours?

Amanda
Inspire marketing

2 comments:

  1. As always Amanda, you write with great emotion. Thank you for sharing your story, it is truly "inspirational".

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  2. Thanks Dan .. I really appreciate all the supportive words you've said and encouragement given :O)

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